The prophecy pronounced
The Macmillan Dictionary defines mercy as the act of forgiving someone or not treating them severely, especially someone who you have the authority to punish. I like this definition because it clearly explains what God has done for me over the years.
As I was looking back in my life, I have realized that God has shown his mercy to me in a number of occasions. The sad part is that I disobeyed his voice and warnings. Although he had the authority to punish me, he saved me instead.
The story dates back to 2002 when my father passed away. He died on a weekend and his funeral was held on the following weekend. During the week preceding the funeral, a lot of people came to mourn and for prayers. This particular night, I knew there were people who had come for prayer. I was sleeping in my room and did not bother being part of the service (probably I needed some time alone to deal with the loss).
However, somebody came to fetch me from my room instructed by one of the brethrens who had received a prophetic message about me. Apparently this man saw a vision of me arguing with two young men over a petty issue and they eventually stabbed me with a knife. Other people in the room also concurred with this and one of them even said I will follow my father soon. The message was clear, I should pray for God’s protection and they prayed for me.
Days passed by, I was stressed and living in fear. I knew God was beckoning at me during that period but I turned a deaf ear to his voice. The same prophecy was related to me on two separate occasions in church by different people but still I could not recognize God’s voice nor take heed to the warning. I was against His instruction, “Do not despise prophecies,” (1 Thessalonians 5:20 NKJV)
For a while it died down and I was living my life as usual. Although I knew that God was the source of my strength, I never gave my life to him. Like a typical young man I experimented a lot of things with my life, thank God I was brought up with Christian values and I had sober morals, so I did not engage in some of the destructive activities.
Attacks confirming the prophecy
I thought the prophecy was gone and I was enjoying my life until I was harshly reminded on the 31st December 2007. It was around 7pm, a bit darker and I was with a cousin walking towards my cousin’s home in Manzini. Two guys approached us and they pretended to be starting a conversation with us. Before we knew it they pulled out knives.
My cousin managed to escape and suddenly I was surrounded by more than five guys. I looked around and all I could see were shiny objects in the air, some sharpened on both edges. I knew I was in trouble. One of them tried to stab me but the knife missed my shoulder by inches, it was like somebody pushed the knife away (I guess that was the hand of God!).
I didn’t fight back, they took away my belongings including about E600 cash, cell phone and a number of cards. I came out unscathed. Later on we proceeded with our plans to cross over to the New Year at Café Mogambo (an entertainment spot that has gained popularity for hosting massive end of year parties).
The prophecy was renewed. Somehow I knew I needed to give my life to God but I simply swept that away from my mind. It was a traumatic experience and I thanked God for the protection. But still I hardened my heart.
A similar occurrence happened again. On the 6th December 2008, at about 4am I was from clubbing and a friend dropped me at the gate at my cousin’s home. I walked past the main house to the one we use with my cousin. Somehow I went to the back of the house and when I came back towards the door, there were two men wielding their knives. I tried running away and raised alarm but that was a bit late. They got hold of me and calmly warned me against fighting back or I would be dead meat!
Again, they went away with some cash and cell phone. God was good to me because I was not harmed. But still I did not give my life to him!
It was a harsh reminder once again but God still showed his mercy. Since that incident, God was speaking to me strongly but still I continued to resist his call. In April last year something tragic happened. My mother was attacked by two thugs who stabbed her several times on the head and chest at a bus stop.
For some time I felt guilty that I was somehow responsible for this incident with my disobedience. It was like the people close to me are now suffering and that was much painful. Still God was talking. During a family evening prayer a prophetic word was pronounced to me. This time the message was straightforward, “Surrender your life wholeheartedly to the Lord.”
Hunger and thirst for God
By this time my ignorance had turned into greater hunger and thirst for the Lord. I had the longing for the word of God. Sadly, some forces were pulling me away from Jesus. I went to church but came back with emptiness in my heart. I would read the bible, I even downloaded some bible reading plans from the internet but still I could not understand what I was reading. I tried praying but I could not find the words. It was a heart-piercing experience.
I believe the Spirit of the Lord was already doing its work now. I felt a strong conviction to talk to someone and that person came into mind in a flash. I don’t think I had actually met this person at the time but we were good friends on Facebook.
I sent her a message on Facebook detailing my feelings. I think it was around May last year. She sent a short reply saying she will pray and return with a Word from God in three days time. I waited patiently and indeed after three days she came back with a response.
When you are hungry for God you wish to hear what God is saying to you. The response was,
“God says you need to separate yourself and reconnect with Him. You’re too busy at the moment. Make a conscious effort to spend quality time with Him. He loves and misses you too. I’ll be praying with you. Separate yourself.”
What a powerful message! Believe me; it did not make sense to me. I did not have the energy to go back and ask her to talk in simple language. The last two words stood out though, “Separate yourself.”
It took about seven months after this to finally surrender myself to the Lord Jesus Christ, allowing him to be my Saviour. The fight inside had intensified and I was helpless. Knowing what is the right thing to do but without power to get rid of the forces holding you back is such a strenuous battle. It is even worse when that dark cloud is still haunting. December last year my girlfriend was also robbed in a similar fashion – by two men carrying knives. It was so devastating that it was not only me suffering but the people close to my heart.
Jesus rescues me
I was in church at Madlangampisi on Sunday, 10 January 2010 when the defining moment came. The Reverend announced that the Word of God will be shared by a young man whom I believe is a testimony to God’s grace. He preached about the battle with sin.
Armed with my Contemporary English Version (CEV) bible, these are the words that touched my heart and I immediately opened the doors for Jesus to come in and dwell in my heart.
“But in every part of me I discover something fighting against my mind, and it makes me a prisoner of sin that controls everything I do. What a miserable person I am. Who will rescue me from this body that is doomed to die? Thank God! Jesus will rescue me,” (Romans 7:23-25 CEV)
What a timely Word! The procedure in my church is that after the Word has been dished anyone is free to stand up share. I am not sure if anyone understood what was happening or what I meant because when I stood up and read this scripture again. I remember saying “Jesus has rescued me!”
(I think one old man discerned this because after the service he came to me, put his hand around my shoulder and said, “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.”)
I was a new creation. The following day I had a four-hour long conversation with my younger brother who has devoted his life in preaching the Word of God. I did not tell him what happened in my life the previous day and we had a candid and deep discussion about Christianity and I asked all the questions I always had (and there were so many!). That is one of the discussions I value in my life.
Discovering my purpose
That marked the beginning of a new journey. I began spending quality time with my Jesus and marveled at how wonderful it is. I separated myself (yes, it made perfect sense now!) Each time I would pray and when I opened my bible the Holy Spirit would lead me to a scripture that answered my prayer. It was so encouraging. This one particular night I was crying out to the Lord to make me understand why he called me. The moment I finished praying, I opened the bible and my eyes were fixed on this scripture;
“If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me. If you utter worthy, not worthless words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them,” (Jeremiah 15:19 NIV).
I knew in my spirit that was my purpose. I believed that was the reason God was patient with me. He wanted to use me as his spokesman. A small voice kept on asking “are you sure?” I have come to realize that God has a way of confirming what he has said (in case you have some doubts). He confirmed this to me in a dream. In the dream I was invited to talk to young people. When I came in, the auditorium was filled to capacity with young people and when I opened the bible, you guessed right – Jeremiah 15:19 was on my face!
I have had an interesting spiritual journey thus far. It came to my spirit that I should share this testimony. Why? “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23 NKJV)
God is a merciful God. I was disobedient and ignored his voice. He could have removed his protection and I would be history. Instead, he faithfully renewed his mercies every morning. However, not everyone can receive such mercy. “For he says to Moses, ‘I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.’ It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy (Rom 9: 15-16 NIV).”
When you hear the voice of the Lord, you better obey my friend. God wants to use you for a specific purpose and if you trust Him with all your heart He will prosper you. He will fulfill his purpose for you. He cares for you hence he is protecting you. He is a patient God and does not want anyone to perish but everyone should come to repentance.
When you come to Him, He will renew you. He says, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you. I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My Statutes, and you will keep My judgements and do them," (Ezekiel 36: 26-27 NKJV).
When we have come to repentance, let us remain faithful to him. “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; but exhort one another daily while it is called “Today” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin,” (Hebrews 3 : 12 -13 NKJV).
Thank you Lord for your amazing Mercy!
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